Thursday, July 14, 2005
And The Words go on....
For anyone following our ever-developing new family dictionary "The Word According to Doug" or Dougisms as we refer to them, we have the latest entry. Although my husband is the namesake and largest contributor to our collection of misnomers, I have recently become aware that there are at least two other family members with the potential to add to this literary effort. But more about that later.
Fourth of July weekend my son, his fiancee and their adorable one year old daughter joined my husband at our WestByGod retreat. Since I happened to be in Florida at the time, my son filed the following story in his memory bank to be relayed to me, the keeper of the words, as soon as I returned. As is usually the case at this time of year, the weather was hot and humid during the day, and as the sun was retiring for the evening, the mosquitoes came out to play. Being the doting father he is, my son decided to light the Citronella candles placed in various locations on the deck outside so as to keep his daughter free from the biting insects. A short time later, Doug noticed the candles had been lit and being relatively certain he hadn't done the lighting, he asked my son "Hey...did you light the Salmonella candles?". Barely supressing his laughter my son innocently asked "The what?" which naturally caused Doug to repeat "The Salmonella candles...did you light them?". Unable to hold the laughter anymore, he managed to choke out "If you mean the Citronella candles, yes I lit them".
This episode was related to me yesterday afternoon as we sat chatting at the end of the work day and needless to say, both my daughter and I had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard! Wanting to make sure I remembered the Salmonella candles to add to the growing list of Dougisms, I kept repeating it over and over again as I shut down the office computer. Just to be on the safe side and since I had a grocery list prepared so I could stop on the way home, I jotted down Salmonella candles at the bottom of the list and off I went to the store.
This morning it dawned on me what the repercussions could have been had I accidently left this particular grocery list in the cart after checking out. Letting my imagination run wild, I envisioned some unsuspecting shopper picking up this list and idlely reading it before throwing it in the nearest trash bin. Hmmm...sugar, coffee, toilet paper, salmonella candles.......SALMONELLA CANDLES???? Ohmygod, call in the FBI, the SWAT Team, Homeland Defense.......must be a terrorist! Think of the headlines as the store is evacuated and everyone single item in the store is checked for salmonella infection. My poor husband has no idea of the havoc he could have caused.
Luckily his mispronunciations and invented words bring great humor to a select audience and they are all innocent blunders. We wouldn't have him any other way. Stay tuned for more.
For anyone following our ever-developing new family dictionary "The Word According to Doug" or Dougisms as we refer to them, we have the latest entry. Although my husband is the namesake and largest contributor to our collection of misnomers, I have recently become aware that there are at least two other family members with the potential to add to this literary effort. But more about that later.
Fourth of July weekend my son, his fiancee and their adorable one year old daughter joined my husband at our WestByGod retreat. Since I happened to be in Florida at the time, my son filed the following story in his memory bank to be relayed to me, the keeper of the words, as soon as I returned. As is usually the case at this time of year, the weather was hot and humid during the day, and as the sun was retiring for the evening, the mosquitoes came out to play. Being the doting father he is, my son decided to light the Citronella candles placed in various locations on the deck outside so as to keep his daughter free from the biting insects. A short time later, Doug noticed the candles had been lit and being relatively certain he hadn't done the lighting, he asked my son "Hey...did you light the Salmonella candles?". Barely supressing his laughter my son innocently asked "The what?" which naturally caused Doug to repeat "The Salmonella candles...did you light them?". Unable to hold the laughter anymore, he managed to choke out "If you mean the Citronella candles, yes I lit them".
This episode was related to me yesterday afternoon as we sat chatting at the end of the work day and needless to say, both my daughter and I had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard! Wanting to make sure I remembered the Salmonella candles to add to the growing list of Dougisms, I kept repeating it over and over again as I shut down the office computer. Just to be on the safe side and since I had a grocery list prepared so I could stop on the way home, I jotted down Salmonella candles at the bottom of the list and off I went to the store.
This morning it dawned on me what the repercussions could have been had I accidently left this particular grocery list in the cart after checking out. Letting my imagination run wild, I envisioned some unsuspecting shopper picking up this list and idlely reading it before throwing it in the nearest trash bin. Hmmm...sugar, coffee, toilet paper, salmonella candles.......SALMONELLA CANDLES???? Ohmygod, call in the FBI, the SWAT Team, Homeland Defense.......must be a terrorist! Think of the headlines as the store is evacuated and everyone single item in the store is checked for salmonella infection. My poor husband has no idea of the havoc he could have caused.
Luckily his mispronunciations and invented words bring great humor to a select audience and they are all innocent blunders. We wouldn't have him any other way. Stay tuned for more.
