My oldest grand-daughter and her Mom stopped by yesterday with a catalog of candles for a cheerleading fund-raiser. Naturally Mom-mom is a must on the list of people to see whenever any of the grandchildren are selling anything. My grand-daughter is eleven going on Britney Spears and like most of her peer group, lapses into Valley Girl at the drop of a hat. Looking every inch the contemporary fasion-plate in her poncho, draped carefully off one shoulder, my grand-daughter listened while my daughter and I discussed the latest sales at our favorite clothing stores as I perused the candle catalog. My daughter casually mentioned her purchase of two ponchos at the store where she had gotten her daughter's poncho. As if ignited by a remote switch, my grand-daughter jumped and staring wide-eyed at her mother exclaimed "Mommmm!!!! YOU got ponchos too!!!". Obviously my daughter didn't quite grasp the idea that Mom wasn't supposed to wear anything even vaguely resembling the current fashions of her pre-pubescent offspring. As my grand-daughter continued her moans of disbelief, my daughter and I attempted to explain that some fashions can traverse more than one age group.
Now I was never faced with such a dilema as a pre-teen since my mother's wardrobe was more for function than fashion. In fact, I swore an oath at a young age to never, ever be caught wearing anything polyesther for as long as I lived. Fashions were a lot less less daring and trendy back when I was eleven. Most girls hadn't even graduated to training bras by that age and the popular teen idols were more like Donna Reed and Jane Wyman (Mom types...for those not old enough to remember the TV characters played by these ladies) than the current sexy, midrift baring teen queens. Our idea of fashion was the shirt-waist dress (calf length mind you) sported by the teen daughter of Donna Reed's character with hair pulled back in a ponytail. Annette Funicello was daring enough in her two piece bathing suit romping on the beach with Frankie Avalon. Of course we all thought our parents the oldest, most clueless people we knew...much like the kids of today...but chose wisely to be less vocal about our parents short-comings than the kids today are. The most drama we showed whenever our parents didn't "understand" us was to run up to our room and throw ourselves on the bed wailing as if the end of the earth had come.
Watching my grand-daughter protesting her Mother's lack of "understanding" fashion etiquette as pre-teens understood it, I quietly reminded my daughter of similar events in our Mother-daughter history. Unlike my own Mother, I tend to dress in contemporary fashions which was a source of unending sighing and eye-rolling during my daughter's teen years. I reminded her of a particular cute outfit I wore one day when she emphatically pronounced that she refused to be seen with me if I insisted on wearing THAT!! Keep in mind that I was barely thirty with a decent figure and, despite my daughter's protestations, bought my clothes in the Junior department of the very same store where she'd purchased the ponchos. The outfit that prompted her outburst consisted of a pair of bright yellow capris with suspenders and a white tee shirt.....nothing outrageous, just properly trendy for young thinking women. As I brought this memory back to my daughter, she responded the same as she had at that time... "Mom's aren't supposed to be cool". My grand-daughter smiled smugly as she said "Yeah Mom...Mom's aren't supposed to be cool.".
As I jotted down my candle order I casually mentioned that I had been thinking of buying a couple of ponchos myself. Peering over at my grand-daughter for her reaction, she smiled and said that would be great. I guess grandmothers ARE allowed to be cool.