Thursday, June 17, 2004
My sister Nancy recently published an article on her site the gardensgift relating a conversation she and I began a couple of weeks ago. My husband and I recently purchased a wonderful manufactured home in Palm Harbor Florida with much help from my sister and her husband Harlan. Having our own place in Florida has long been a dream of mine as I find myself able to totally relax when I'm there. I attribute this to a combination of palm trees, sunshine, and some very special friends who also happen to be family. This home of ours is a light, cozy place that my sister originally found for her mother-in-law, and to our good fortune, we were able to purchase it when Nancy's mother-in-law decided to return home to Maryland. The moment I set foot through the front door I knew this was meant to be our Florida home and my instinct was reinforced when my husband took a quick trip to Palm Harbor and immediately felt the same way when he entered the house.
So, my husband Doug and I worked feverishly to get all the elements necessary lined up to make the final purchase and, the first weekend of June, we landed in Tampa with much anticipation. Although it was past 11:00 at night when we arrived at our new home, we turned all the lights on, checked every nook and cranny, and delighted with our upcoming purchase, we decided it was time for a toast. My wonderful brother-in-law Harlan had provided all the ingredients for our favorite cocktails so as Doug began to mix the drinks, I opened the refrigerator........lo and behold, Harlan had chilled 2 cocktail glasses in anticipation of our late arrival. This sweet personal touch meant more than I can describe and as we toasted our purchase and our life together we naturally included all those that we dearly love, thankful to be fortunate to have the family and friends in our lives that we do.
The next day Nancy and Harlan arrived to finalize the paperwork on the house and, as we tend to do any time we're together, Nancy and I were chatting as we fondly observed our respective husbands. My husband, though a thoughtful, loving person, is not exactly the neatest person I've ever met. I give him credit for trying to clean up after himself but I've come to realize after almost 30 years that there are certain disparities between men and women when it comes to keeping house. A man's idea of neat and clean basically involves having the covers pulled up on the bed, the dishes, if not washed, at least piled in the sink, and the lights turned low so you don't notice the dust. I tend to be just a bit more particular...especially when it comes to open drawers and cabinets and lights and televisions on in rooms with no human occupants. Having observed several males in my life I have come to the conclusion that the gene that regulates thoughts of opposites in males has mutated to the point of being pratically non-exsistent.
Although I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule, it appears that when a guy closes a drawer, it's usually done with a quick flip of the wrist or a nudge with the hip or better yet, a backward kick of the foot. The end result is usually a drawer that is either not completely closed, or, depending on the kicking distance, a drawer that pops open even further than it was when they started. The only logical conclusion is that most aspects of a male's life tend to be sports oriented. so all things are approached as a game. Two points for landing the clothes in the hamper from a foot and three points if it's across the room. Televisions and radios, though are a totally different matter. "On" is easy, "Off" must be a concept that just does not compute. Although I find it difficult to leave the house with the TV on or the radio blaring, my husband can walk out of a room knowing he's not going back in there anytime soon and not notice the noise or flickering light in the background as he shuts the door behind him. I have returned home on occassion after Doug has been home and then left again to find my dogs contentedly perched on the couch watching the evening news. Our parrot George also must like loud classic rock since he listens to it on a regular basis. I remember when Doug installed outside speakers so we could have music when we were on the deck. It was a nice concept until I got a call at 2 a.m. from my neighbor who apparently couldn't sleep because the radio had been playing all night.
So as Nancy and I were discussing this phenomenon of male antioppositeness, we began to compare notes. It seems she also has inherited the clear cut opposite gene that I have. Doors and drawers should be closed completely, lights should be turned off when noone is in the room, the TV should have an audience other than animals or plants. And the funny thing is, no matter how much time we spend trailing along behind our guys closing drawers and turning things off, we wouldn't trade them for the world.
So, my husband Doug and I worked feverishly to get all the elements necessary lined up to make the final purchase and, the first weekend of June, we landed in Tampa with much anticipation. Although it was past 11:00 at night when we arrived at our new home, we turned all the lights on, checked every nook and cranny, and delighted with our upcoming purchase, we decided it was time for a toast. My wonderful brother-in-law Harlan had provided all the ingredients for our favorite cocktails so as Doug began to mix the drinks, I opened the refrigerator........lo and behold, Harlan had chilled 2 cocktail glasses in anticipation of our late arrival. This sweet personal touch meant more than I can describe and as we toasted our purchase and our life together we naturally included all those that we dearly love, thankful to be fortunate to have the family and friends in our lives that we do.
The next day Nancy and Harlan arrived to finalize the paperwork on the house and, as we tend to do any time we're together, Nancy and I were chatting as we fondly observed our respective husbands. My husband, though a thoughtful, loving person, is not exactly the neatest person I've ever met. I give him credit for trying to clean up after himself but I've come to realize after almost 30 years that there are certain disparities between men and women when it comes to keeping house. A man's idea of neat and clean basically involves having the covers pulled up on the bed, the dishes, if not washed, at least piled in the sink, and the lights turned low so you don't notice the dust. I tend to be just a bit more particular...especially when it comes to open drawers and cabinets and lights and televisions on in rooms with no human occupants. Having observed several males in my life I have come to the conclusion that the gene that regulates thoughts of opposites in males has mutated to the point of being pratically non-exsistent.
Although I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule, it appears that when a guy closes a drawer, it's usually done with a quick flip of the wrist or a nudge with the hip or better yet, a backward kick of the foot. The end result is usually a drawer that is either not completely closed, or, depending on the kicking distance, a drawer that pops open even further than it was when they started. The only logical conclusion is that most aspects of a male's life tend to be sports oriented. so all things are approached as a game. Two points for landing the clothes in the hamper from a foot and three points if it's across the room. Televisions and radios, though are a totally different matter. "On" is easy, "Off" must be a concept that just does not compute. Although I find it difficult to leave the house with the TV on or the radio blaring, my husband can walk out of a room knowing he's not going back in there anytime soon and not notice the noise or flickering light in the background as he shuts the door behind him. I have returned home on occassion after Doug has been home and then left again to find my dogs contentedly perched on the couch watching the evening news. Our parrot George also must like loud classic rock since he listens to it on a regular basis. I remember when Doug installed outside speakers so we could have music when we were on the deck. It was a nice concept until I got a call at 2 a.m. from my neighbor who apparently couldn't sleep because the radio had been playing all night.
So as Nancy and I were discussing this phenomenon of male antioppositeness, we began to compare notes. It seems she also has inherited the clear cut opposite gene that I have. Doors and drawers should be closed completely, lights should be turned off when noone is in the room, the TV should have an audience other than animals or plants. And the funny thing is, no matter how much time we spend trailing along behind our guys closing drawers and turning things off, we wouldn't trade them for the world.
