There was a comedian years ago ( unfortunately his name eludes me at this point......fodder for a late night mind worm I'm sure) who said he got his best material dressing up as a waiter and working in a restaurant. He would sit with his customers and engage them in conversation all the while storing their humorous tales in his mind for use in a later appearance on the Tonight Show or any other platform he performed on. Although I'm not a professional performer, I love hearing other people's take on everyday situations especially when it comes to adolesents. Anyone who has raised a teenager knows how easily they can strike panic in the heart of even the most wordly parent. Sitting in our favorite little neighborhood watering hole last night relaxing away the strains of a busy week, I began a conversation with the wife of a friend. Both being mothers we naturally fell into the topic of our children. I admit to now being in the perfect part of parenthood......three grown children, none of whom live at home. Oh, the freedom that brings! I was immediately sympathetic as she discussed her 16 year old son and his apparent belief that she and her husband were the absolute dumbest people on the face of the earth. I assured her this would all change in time, especially when he became a parent, and she & her husband would become the bright, insightful people they've always known they were. She then mentioned the 16 year old's sister...his 16 year old twin, soliciting from me an immediate "Do you need a hug?" moment. Teenagers tend to believe the world revolves around them and our only duty as parents is to ensure their complete happiness at all times. They also believe our only joy in life comes from thwarting their dreams and denying them what "everyone else" has or gets to do. To this day I still don't know who this "everyone else" is and how they came to be a part of every family. Well, this darling little 16 year old girl expressed her desire to dye her hair red like other girls she knows. Being a first time mother of a teenager, this naive soul naturally thought she meant a pleasant auburn. Having a little more experience in this arena I knew she really meant Crayola fire engine red. Which was exactly what the child had in mind. I listened as this mother lamented the woes of parenting using the well-known arguments of mothers the world over...Are you out of your mind?...What would people think?....Have your friends looked in the mirror recently?.....All of these attempts to make her see the errors of her thinking were useless because, after all, "everyone else" does it. As our coversation continued, the mother admitted that her daughter was a good kid who wasn't doing drugs or having sex and got reasonably good grades. She finally asked me if I had ever faced this dilema and how I handled it. As I said, I have 3 grown children, 2 of whom are girls, and yes, this subject had come up at least once or twice in both their teenage lives. Eager to have another mother agree that dying hair red was ridiculous and would never happen while living in "her" home, she waited for my agreement to her stance. Unfortunately, much to her immediate dismay, I presented a totally opposite side of the disagreement. I pointed out her assurance of the good points her daughter exhibits and the fact that there are worse things the child could be doing. After all, aren't tatoos and piercings still in vogue among young people? As the light dawned in this mother's eyes, she finally realized that red hair wasn't so terrible after all. It's easily dyed again and would have no permanent effect on the child's life. As she said goodnight, I knew that come tomorrow there would be another 16 year old girl with fire engine red hair walking around the mall with her rainbow-haired friends. Oh, it's wonderful to have grown children.