Thursday, April 28, 2005
Dougisms and more
One of the funniest and funnest parts of my life is my husband's penchant for misusing and inventing words (funnest being one of his contributions). I've actually threatened to compile a book based on his vocabulary with the working title "The Word According to Doug".
The latest excerpt is based on a recent injury to Doug's shoulder. Being a bit of a mountain-man, my husband spends a good deal of time at our place in West Virginia. As soon as the weather begins to break he heads up there to clean up the winter's mess and begin whatever Spring project he has on his agenda. Since the campground doesn't officially open for a while after his first trip, he loads our generator on a trailer, hitches the trailer to his truck and tools merrily down the highway. Such was the case again this year.
Now, this trailer is not your ordinary small utility trailer. It is large enough to hold a motorcycle, which he also hauls up to God's country every Spring and has a little bit of weight to it. So, on a recent weekend, Doug headed to the mountains, hooked up the generator and began his season in the hills. When the time came to return home, he proceeded to hitch up the trailer in his usual manner. Grabbing the trailer tongue with his right hand, he gave a mighty grunt and hoisted it onto the truck hitch. This was quickly followed by a howl of pain as his shoulder screamed it's protest. Needless to say, the shoulder was not impressed by this display of machoism and the result was weeks of residual pain and stiffness.
Finally after several weeks of unrelenting pain, Doug decided to visit his doctor to assess the damage. The verdict was insult to the shoulder muscles and ligaments to be treated by the normal prescriptions and rest. When we met at our local watering hole for a drink that night, Doug proceed to explain the diagnosis and medicine required. He did fine with the diagnosis but when it came to explaining the medicine, the fun began.
According to Doug the doctor had prescribed Prilosec. Chuckling, I explained that that was for heartburn. Maybe it was Prozac he said. No sweetheart, that's for depression. Well, he said, it's a "dehydrater" for the shoulder. By now I was barely able to contain my laughter as he continued to try to explain what thie medicine was. Finally he proclaimed "You know.. it's a DEHUMIDIFIER!!". Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I composed myself and replied "You mean an antinflammatory?".
Eureka!!!....we finally had it.
Of course I haven't been able to resist the impulse to relate this story to friends and family at any opportunity. After hearing about the conversation, my youngest daughter went home and solemly informed her husband that Dad was taking dehumidifiers. Not missing a beat, he asked was he taking them orally or rectally. As she filled him in on the rest of the story, he looked at her and asked "How the heck did your Mom know what he was talking about?!!". All I can say is with over 30 years of experience, I understand Doug-speak. Now that's a scarey thought!!
P.S.: Happy Birthday Laurie
One of the funniest and funnest parts of my life is my husband's penchant for misusing and inventing words (funnest being one of his contributions). I've actually threatened to compile a book based on his vocabulary with the working title "The Word According to Doug".
The latest excerpt is based on a recent injury to Doug's shoulder. Being a bit of a mountain-man, my husband spends a good deal of time at our place in West Virginia. As soon as the weather begins to break he heads up there to clean up the winter's mess and begin whatever Spring project he has on his agenda. Since the campground doesn't officially open for a while after his first trip, he loads our generator on a trailer, hitches the trailer to his truck and tools merrily down the highway. Such was the case again this year.
Now, this trailer is not your ordinary small utility trailer. It is large enough to hold a motorcycle, which he also hauls up to God's country every Spring and has a little bit of weight to it. So, on a recent weekend, Doug headed to the mountains, hooked up the generator and began his season in the hills. When the time came to return home, he proceeded to hitch up the trailer in his usual manner. Grabbing the trailer tongue with his right hand, he gave a mighty grunt and hoisted it onto the truck hitch. This was quickly followed by a howl of pain as his shoulder screamed it's protest. Needless to say, the shoulder was not impressed by this display of machoism and the result was weeks of residual pain and stiffness.
Finally after several weeks of unrelenting pain, Doug decided to visit his doctor to assess the damage. The verdict was insult to the shoulder muscles and ligaments to be treated by the normal prescriptions and rest. When we met at our local watering hole for a drink that night, Doug proceed to explain the diagnosis and medicine required. He did fine with the diagnosis but when it came to explaining the medicine, the fun began.
According to Doug the doctor had prescribed Prilosec. Chuckling, I explained that that was for heartburn. Maybe it was Prozac he said. No sweetheart, that's for depression. Well, he said, it's a "dehydrater" for the shoulder. By now I was barely able to contain my laughter as he continued to try to explain what thie medicine was. Finally he proclaimed "You know.. it's a DEHUMIDIFIER!!". Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I composed myself and replied "You mean an antinflammatory?".
Eureka!!!....we finally had it.
Of course I haven't been able to resist the impulse to relate this story to friends and family at any opportunity. After hearing about the conversation, my youngest daughter went home and solemly informed her husband that Dad was taking dehumidifiers. Not missing a beat, he asked was he taking them orally or rectally. As she filled him in on the rest of the story, he looked at her and asked "How the heck did your Mom know what he was talking about?!!". All I can say is with over 30 years of experience, I understand Doug-speak. Now that's a scarey thought!!
P.S.: Happy Birthday Laurie
