"The worms crawl in..."

Remember that gross kids' song "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out"? Well, what would happen if the Mind Worms crawled in and none crawled out? Your brain will turn to mush!! Let's face it, even the brain has a finite amount of space to store whatever is sent into it before it yells "Enough already!!", bolts the door and takes a vacation!!
I've often kiddingly said a mind is a terrible thing to lose and I firmly believe if mine isn't lost, it's definitely been misplaced temporarily. No, I haven't finally fallen off the edge of what passes for sanity, I've just pushed so much "stuff" into my poor little brain that's it's taken a hike until I do a little bit of housekeeping. So grab a broom guys and let's see what we can toss out!!
First, let's sweep the cobwebs away from the door and check out the file room.... oops, bad idea. Looks like everything has just been dumped into a heap in the middle of the room...guess the file clerk got a bit overwhelmed. This is gonna be a lot tougher than I thought!! So...what happened you might ask...well, it's a long story.
It all started when my husband Doug and I bought our house in Florida. Spending long quiet weekends in a warm, sunny place, sipping cocktails on the lanai, letting our minds drift became our favorite form of entertainment. Being away from the constant jangling of telephones, the squawking of two-way radios and the shrill sounds of customer complaints was pure heaven. Although having your own business has it's rewards, it also has it's drawbacks...plus it follows you everywhere like a child hanging onto your leg when you try to get away for a while. And so the dream began. It sounded so simple....first you sell the business, then you sell the house and then you pack up your most important treasures and head for a life of fun and sun in Florida.....simple right? Sure buddy...keep dreaming!!
Making the decision has been the easiest part of this whole process we call retirement. Months later...and many tears later when we broke the news to our three kids....we're still stuck at step one!! Coming to an agreement with the potential new owners was a bit of a trying experience but we managed to hash out the details and, celebrating the sucess of our negotiations, we proceeded on. Here's where things get more involved than any of us could have thought. Taking our two pages of plain English, the buyers made an appointment with their lawyer who managed to turn this simple transaction into forty-seven pages of ancient Sandskrit! Take it from me, by the time you wade through all the whereases, heinafters, aforementioneds and heretofors, you've forgotten what the heck you were trying to agree to in the first place much less which part of the party you're supposed to be!! And don't think that rereading it a few times will make it any clearer. Just when you think you finally understand what's being said, the words rearrange themselves and you wind up sitting there scratching your head in pure astonishment that any part of this might be considered the English we all grew up with. Maybe I should have taken "Legalease" as a second language instead of French.
So as I lay in bed the other night trying to form some coherent thought to quiet my frenzied mind, I heard my brain yell "Enough already!!" and over the barely audible sound of a bolt locking, the Mind Worms began singing... "Whereas the aformentioned worms (hereinafter referred to as the Party of the first part)crawl in.....